Pains

The pain is real. I was diagnosed with Gastroperises last year, If you don’t know what that is its basically the way my stomach process food. Most the time when I eat it sits in my intestines and takes a long time to digest fully. Every so often it becomes a “flare up” when this happens the pain is bad. It starts out like tiny contraction like pains. Then it starts to get a little stronger. I have been hospitalized for pain control many times. So many it almost becomes like a burden on my family. Its been about 2months since my last flare up. Since last night I have been having the little bit of pain feeling, but its slowly getting worse. Its hard to deal with because there really is not much anybody can do. I just have to deal with the pain. Litterly this time I HAVE to. I cant go to the freaking ER again. Its too much on me, my family and my job. I am on the verge of cleaning out my system to see if that helps. So lets hope it does because right now I just want to be in a ball and left alone.
Speaking of wanting to be alone, it’s the week of my moms visit. She came today instead of Tuesday because I was off today. She is my mother and I love her. Of course but she is very, very hard to be around for long periods at a time. Its nothing she did to me or anything its just her personality is BIG. She goes from 0 to 60 and is like a tornado coming into the house. She’s loud, opinionated and seems to feel because she is the mother I owe her respect, over her needing to give me any. Well, I am a mother too You are visiting MY home. You can still be my mother and show me the same respect. Does anyone else deal with their moms this way? I was advised by a good friend to let her say her peace and just breathe. Currently she wen to the bedroom so it’s a little better, minus her turning her TV so loud I cant hear mine, and when I ask her to turn it down she says well yours is loud. Seriously I feel like I am dealing with a teenager at times. When you’re a kid you think when I get older I cant wait to be the one who gets to do whatever I want…I had no idea this meant dealing with your parents like they are now the kids. I know I don’t feel good and this could be part of the reason I am on edge, but I also know it’s the visit as well. I wish I didn’t let her habits get the best of me, but it does and probably always will.
I might go see my grandmother tomorrow. I miss her and do want to see her but I also don’t know if I am up to it. Going with my mom all day and not feeling well is bad situation. Plus, Jose took off for a house closing and I am off so it would be nice to be home with him. Even if just for a hang out and snuggle on the couch day. I feel like we are so busy its hard to spend time together. This Saturday should be nice though. A hotel and a nice dinner with our friends. Looking forward to that and to see them. Friends that are like family. Jessie and Scott. Jessie has been my friend since kindergarten. We got very close around 6th grade when she lost her father. I lost my dad a few years before. The tragic situation brought us closer together and since then it has not been broken. Her sister is also mine. Her mom I call her mama. Well Jessie got married to a wonderful man who had 2 kids of his own. So I gained a brother and a niece and nephew. Jess, Scott, Jose and I always have a nice time together. Last time we hung out was back in October. We went to the Poconos. We had a BLAST. So I am def. looking forward to some laughs and the company of family. Sunday we are going to a baby shower for my “sister” , I cant believe she is having a baby, I feel like it was just yesterday Jess and I were shooing her out of the room. Now she is pregnant and married. Time flies!
Share a story with me about your relationship with parents, is it hard like I feel it is? Do you have a lifelong friend too? Share below and keep it SimPLe.