Hey everyone, October is almost over so I figured I would fill you all in with how life has been for me, exspecially since I lost my job.

I am definitely done and let go from Five Below. I was sad at first but now i am looking at the brighter side of things. It will be a change and it will be different but thing do happen for a reason. I am back on the anxiety medicine and depression i was on, and i should never have took myself off of. Hard reality hit me there! If you are on any form of anti depressants do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Keep taking what your prescribed and always know taking the medicine does not make you weak, it makes you strong. I was once told when I was worried about my breakdown moments that if I did not seek help that is where the problem will arise. So moms, dads whomever…Do NOT be embarrassed. So back to the job, I went to a few interviews and they seemed to go well. One in particular i am excited about, but once i know more i will share where it is.

Our vacation with my bestie and her man, and my handsome fella is coming up. Another fun Halloween weekend. We both could use a little time away, and i am very much looking forward to it. We always have a nice time with Jess and Scott. They are more than friends to me, they are family. Last year was the first year we all went and it was a blast so maybe this can become an annual commitment.

My mom and i are talking again. Which is nice. She is my mother and she definitely has her moments where i wanna run into a wall, but i love her and despite certain things that may have occurred over the years, i would like to know i can say she is there for me. We both have things to work on to form a better relationship, so as long as we stick to that we should be OK.

I got some bad news about a month ago, someone close to me, no names will be provided nor how i know them, but someone i am close to recently found out they had lumps in their breasts. This is one of the things that made me kinda feel down at work and walk out. I tend to hold others problems on my shoulders. I do not see this as a bad thing, but this specific situation I can do nothing about. I can only be there for them and pray. I can not heal nor fix the issue so i need to remind myself i can not fix everything. My therapist said i should talk to this person, but i don’t wanna be a burden. They have so much going on already they do not need to know my worries are making it hard on me sometimes. I love this person so much and we have come a long way to where we are now compared to where we were last year, or last couple of years. Her family is mine and i would do anything for them all. Again to protect her name and not give out information just say a prayer of a quick healing and recovery for her and her loved ones.

The weekend went fast! My oldest Ben, he went to a scary walk through event here in our town. He is 13, and old enough to see scary movies, and do haunted houses and what not. I really wanted to go with him and experience it being my love for horror movies. He kept telling me no, or idk. I assumed it was because he was nervous or scared. NOPE. none of the above. He did end up going just not with his mommy lol. He went with a friend and 2 girls. Back in my day ( man I sound old) we would call this a double date. I guess i cant blame him for wanting to be with his friends over his mother, but at least I have the movies to watch with him.

OK fellow readers and bloggers, I am off to get ready for bed. Have a great rest of the month! Halloween approaches and i am so excited for our weekend.

Keep it spooky…i mean Simple!

Good Morning readers. This post when reading it may come as a shock to some, for I have kept this to myself for the last few days. so here goes…

Monday I went into work very sick, and very tired, end result was something of a breakdown. I ended up walking out and quitting. I won’t go into much detail but your more than welcome to call or comment. When i was on my way home shaking and crying realizing the biggest mistake I ever made just happened my “boss” called me. She was very sweet and understanding and knew I was having a rough time with family and health stuff. She said take some time and we will pretend nothing happened, I will not hold today against you. This gave me some relief. I went to Doctor that day. When I went to speak to my boss about coming back and when she told me I was off the schedule. I told her it was OK and I could come back normal hours. She said it was no longer up to her. So my first question is, does this count as letting me go then? I “quit”, we spoke she said job is mine, I accepted 24 hours later I am off schedule. Needless to say I plan on speaking to my District manager, and or the HR office, but until I do I’m jobless. Never would I have imagined so close to holidays I would be out of a job, this job means so much to me. I worked my ass off for this job and moved up at a great pace. I was always putting my job before other things and never would have dreamed of walking out. Yet, I did. I was not ME.

When I say it wasn’t me, I mean the body was there but the mind was not. I was a in fog as I grabbed things and left. This has been on going for sometime but I also feel I don’t have many people I can turn to. People who fully understand these emotions. When do I turn to them , i feel like a burden or a let down. Exceptionally for my family. Jose, He was so proud of me and happy to see me helping out. I am so worried this could break us too. I know our love is stronger but am I? When we first got together this was how it was. Not emotion wise but job wise. I was not working full time and I did need help, once moved in together. I know he has a lot on his plate too. I can’t use the foggy feeling as an excuse but that’s what it felt like. I felt like someone else. Matter of fact my “boss” said same thing, this is not you.

So I am starting October off pretty shitty. I feel very hurt and alone. I know I do have Jose and my family but my family has things going on too and my troubles are not theirs. My friends have their own issues they do not need mine. I just wish i could take it all back. I wish I could have foreseen this coming and stopped that girl from coming out. As I type this out my head gets all dizzy again. I do not even understand how I could do this to my family. to myself.

My doctor seems to think I have “Bipolar Depression”. The word Bipolar frightens me. I see it as if it means I’m crazy and need to be put away. It’s not a knock down of any type to those who have this going on, it’s more of an ignorant statement. When you hear of this disorder in movies and TV you see a person frantic and a little crazy. Then you see the complete opposite. Myself, I am more down. I am wanting to cry at the drop of the hat. I also made the mistake of “fixing”myself.

You see for sometime I have been on anti depressants and anxiety medicine, since Hunter was born. it was a few different ones but once I was on something that helped it stayed like this for well he will be 12 in April so almost that long. I recently about; 2 weeks ago was asked by doc. if I feel like the Zoloft was doing anything anymore? I saidI couldn’t tell you because I have never been off it. Well since Iwas on some new stuff that seemed to be helping me now, i decided to end it on my own. Cold turkey. BIG mistake I now have come to see. Not being on them took a huge toll on me emotionally and THIS may have been the cause as well.

Again the reasons I am listing is not an excuse, but more like probable cause. I am back on the medicine now, the Zoloft not for Bi Polar just yet. I feel still sad, and a lot of remorse. I also feel anger that I was lead to believe they had my back and now they don’t. I feel alone in the way of certain friends I had at work, they seem to be more team work over team worry more about my friend. I want to blame those feelings on the lack of medicine too, but in the end I feel hurt. Specially by one person. The day it happened she was all on my side but as the days went on, it was almost like she was hearing it from the boss herself and decided to try and convince me other wise. I’m not mad at this person, just hurt at the 180 they seem to have made.

The end of the day whether its yourself, or your body reacting to not being on the proper medicine or just your emotional state all together, you need to do something to fix it. I think I am on that road now, but to start all over is hard. I cry as I fill out applications knowing I did this to myself. I cry over all my hard work just forgotten. I mourn this job. I mourn this loss and honestly I feel like i am mourning the loss of me.

Not so Simple today. Not so simple at all.

I can not believe tomorrow is Labor Day already. The summer is over. All the kids go back to school, and hope work gets busier. Holiday time is near, but my most favorite part of fall is HALLOWEEN. I love decorating this holiday. I love horror movies and scary things, even if i am a chicken. We already have our plans for halloween weekend. Heading to the poconos with my best friend and her husband. We went last year and had a blast, so this year should be fun. Picked up my costumes yesterday. Had more time to buy, and put more thought into it.

Wenesday will be a sad and proud day for me. My youngest will be going to Middle School. First year in 2 years he will be with his brother again on the bus, the last year for now, because my benjin is going to HS next year. LORD HELP ME! Ben is getting so big, hes tall and just growing right before my eyes. It amazes me how fast it goes. Hunter is going to be a middle schooler, he is no longer a baby. He will always be MY baby tho. Whether he likes it or not.

The summer seemed to fly this year. I worked a decsent amount and had some bad flare ups with my stomach but other than this it was a nice summer. We went to Chicago and to Deleware. We made memories with the family and had a lot of outside parties with close family and friends.

One of the things i am very greatful with is the relationship i formed and re formed with Stacy and Katie. I can no imagine going back to no communication. Recently I sat with them and cried. We bitched about men and i was able to talk to them about my issues with my fiance. ( were more than ok but hey its a relationship it takes work) but the feeling of being able to cry and talk it out with them made it feel so nice to have.

I recently also joined a mailing group for Disney and i love it. The interactions with the people who i have things in common in the world wide web is nice. I get my first Practically Perfect Present…I think it is, soon. I also joined a few horror sites and love it. Its nice to know so many people have similar interests. I was talking to Jose about starting a horror mailing list like Disney, but when i was decorating for fall, he said why not make a site for your decorating. You can exchange ideas and gifts for the house. He is right, i do love to have fun with decorations. I even do it at a low price. DOLLAR Store. I love it. So that’s most likely something ill look into.

I feel like work is going well, but today i noticed a huge cut in my hours for next week, and was told it was a mistake but i just can not shake the feeling like something is wrong.

Speaking of wrong, my ex is going to court for probation on Child Support and idk why but it makes ME nervous. Whenever court is discussed with him in anyway it always makes me feel like it will end up worse. So lets hope it is just about his missing payments and nothing more.

Well being i am so busy this might just turn into a monthly thing…we will see what i feel like. Do i have readers? IDK! What is your favorite thing about Fall? Do you love horror and Halloween? How about a mailing list or decoration love?

Let me know down below.

Keep it SiMpLe and enjoy the cooler weather.

Good Afternoon fellow bloggers/fans i wish i had. Today is Tuesday, my last Tuesday of the summer with my boys. Pretty soon they will be with their dad this next few days. I know he gets his time like i do mine, but it kills me to not have them home. Hope they do fun stuff to make it go by fast for them.

SUCKY weather today. Rain and more rain. Stinks because now we can not do the beach or the pool and my gas tank is too low to go visit my sisters. So its a day home of catching up on house chores. F U N!

I get a new job, make more money and yet have none. I do try to save and not buy things i don’t need..but sometimes it end up with still nothing. So i can not go food shopping, and still no payment from the ex. Anyone else deal with child support? I cant stand the process. I wish one late payment forgiven but 2…they need repercussions of some sort so that next payment they def. do not miss it. C’mon NJ!

Work is going well, my new manager is someone i knew from years ago. She is the daughter of a friend of mine. So its nice to have familiarity but i also hope she sees it the same and not OK, how do i be a boss to Kelli? I think she is doing well. Store is getting lots of compliments about how neat and together the store is. Trust that is a huge compliment.

I am semi curious who reads my stuff, i post in anticipation of people wanting to respond to my questions and get involved but so far like 10 posts later, only friends comment. WELL i appreciate the love.

OK well once again if you have a question or advice or even a story about child support and how your state handles it. Leave a comment below.

Keep it SImple!

Hello!! WOW has it been a long time. A LOT has happened.

So last time I wrote., i talked about news..well its been shared quite a few times since then. I am now working at the five below in Ocean township and i am promoted to CEM..its like assistant manager. ITS AWESOME. even there we have had a lot of changes, new boss to another new boss. Our company moves fast. All in all its really going well.

I am having some stomach problems again but i do not want to get into this right now, just pray for answers and good results in the long run.

Charming our pup will be 8m already tomorrow. CRAZY how time flies. Summer is almost over. We recently switched around the boy’s rooms so they can be in their own when the other is not here. We will see how this works out.

This summer besides my promotion i had a few changes. New job. New dog and a new outlook on family. I unfortunately decided to no longer give in to the drama of my own mother, and move on from that. I have no issue with having her in my life if its me and my family who she focuses on when we talk, not everyone else, not the name calling. BUT i am however very close to Katie. She is my brother JC’s gf and they have a son together. Conner. He just turned 1. HE is my moose. I love him so much. With Katie i not only gained another sister, and a good friend, i gained another nephew. She has a son from her first relationship, Jayden. I love him so much. Kids get along well too. Besides Katie i am also getting into a wonderful relationship with my sister Stacy and her kids, and her hubby. The kids are my world. Bray is bratty bray and i love her so much. Then Bryce, aka monkey baby is the world to me. He is a miracle truly and i love him so much. Then her first born AJ aka MEATBALL. I am so honored to call them all family.

Come the end of this month MORE family time, My brother Dylan and his wife Kassidy will be moving to NJ with my step mom ( mom sorry Amy) and step dad. I can not wait. I wanna meet and spoil my other niece Kylie. AKA PICKLE CHIP. Speaking of mom and john. John is my first step dad. He helped raise me after loosing my father at a young age. We were never close, and their is many reasons why, but all that matters now is i have them in my life again. My kids, exp Ben said he never met anyone so nice as Amy, mom/GG for boys. She is pretty great. Shout out mom! LOVE YOU! Thanks for making me and the boys family!

Considering how long its been you would think i have a WHOLE lot more to say. But i dont. Been a pretty good summer, Jose and I are good. Excited for this weekend to see my best friend and her man. We will have a good time as always. I will meet my nepohew Leo. I am stoked for this! Seeing Dana and mama Reisack. So it will be nice.

OK as always guys keep it simple and enjoy the rest of your summer!

Well its been a while. I have been a busy gal, but also a few things happening. Lets start with my health since that was my last post. I ended up back in the hospital. I was admitted for about 5 days. I ended up getting a Fecal Transplant. Yes, how it sounds is what it was. I had someones shit inserted into me. It is supposed to give me new healthy bacteria. 95% success rate and it seems to have been working. Only down side is the fact that i cant seem to use the bathroom as much as i feel like i should be. I hope it evens out soon.

Work is going well. I think i am being noticed even more by my boss and the higher ups. Makes me feel pretty good about myself. Money seems to be getting better as well, feel like i am helping with my family more. Today is my first Saturday off that i get to not have to do much. Last time it was hospital, before that it was for a shower, so its nice to be home and just be home.

My mom has not been coming anymore. She was in town Tuesday but went to my step brothers house this time, which honestly i am more than OK with. Speaking of family as much as i am supposed to just accept its the way it is and stop letting them all get to me, it does still. Lately its been on my mind a lot. Idk if its the upcoming event of my cousins wedding or being in the hospital and having not many of my family members seeing how i was, but i have been feeling kinda sad and honestly a little angry. I don’t know what i did to be treated like i don’t matter to them. I am always asking about their kids, reaching out or liking posts on FB. I feel like i go out of my way to be noticed by them and in the end almost laughed at behind my back yet right in front of my eyes. My blood sister, i have always wanted a relationship with. She was always closer to my step sister. As we got older i would try so hard to have a sister. my real sister be in my life and each time i think we hit a turning point, its blows up in my face. I am aware i have my family i make on my own. I know i have very close friends but there will always be that missing feeling of not having my blood related siblings, or siblings i grew up with ( step, half whatever) close to me. Even my own mother seems to always choose them over me. My sister’s son and her were always the fist choice of people to see when she was in town, always put first before my boys. I was always told that it is because she needed it more. She needed the “help” more. So basically me doing “well” means i don’t need my mom? I get where some people are coming from but i don’t understand the whole reasoning.

Onto another topic i am more confused about than ever. Nemo. I thought we were making some real progress. I mean blogs before this i went into everything. I even admitted the last fall out was understanding and on me. We were fine. We didn’t hang out since the night she came over, but we were in constant communication and talking and then one day, literately out of no where i am blocked again. She stopped talking to me, answering my messages. One day were laughing next day shes GONE. This time not only am i hurt, a little mad but i am confused. I can say this time i did NOTHING wrong. Does it hurt? yes. I just guess deep down as much as i know the reason last time was on me, i kinda felt like this would happen again. Just hurts. I wanted her to be there for the wedding, watch the boys grow, be a friend. I will never forget when it was good, but i also can not forget the feeling of the pain of loosing her each time. Like a bad break up, but like Taylor Swift said ” we are never, ever, ever getting back together.”

Speaking of friends. My very close and dear friend Kelly is going on her one year of sobriety. I am so happy and proud of her. I know their are unfortunate friends and people I knew who lost the battle, but Kel has come a long way. I always knew she could do it. She is an amazing mother, and friend and i am rooting for her! YOU GO GIRL! Her daughters are like my nieces. Very close to them too. Always spoil them when i can. Speaking of the word spoil..

This Tuesday was my monthly appointment to Morgansville, so on the way home my boys and I went to the Freehold mall. Hunter wanted to get Jose a stuffed Eeyore. Was super sweet, anyway i had told them they can get one thing from the store, or they can use the money in the VR game room. Hunter said i can keep the money for myself if i wanted and get the stuffed animal i want, but obv, i would never do that. He is so sweet. They ended up choosing the VR room. They loved it. I loved seeing the smiles on their faces. Makes all the bad things disappear for a moment. They are my world. I decided to have fun too, and did the VR roller coaster. Why not? I can do real ones and love them, so i thought it was slimier, prob less thrilling. BOY WAS I WRONG! After the first one i was like hmm not bad, then by the third i wanted to vomit. I am too old for that stuff, guess ill stick to the real thing ha ha. When we left the kids got to get rolled ice cream, me i was just trying to walk out the door without loosing my dinner. They had a nice time. On the way home Hunter had a small crying set back. I was so confused how he went from so happy to tears. He apparently was thinking about the next days to come. He did not want to go to his dads, wanted out of scouts again..blah blah. I asked why he was crying over it, and he said because he doesn’t wanna get in trouble for feeling this way. He didn’t want his dad to get mad and ground him, but he also wanted his dad to know how he felt. Poor kid had such anxiety over it. It makes me so mad to see them this way with their own dad. I remember when Ben was just days old, Tom, his dad “stood up” to his dad for what seemed for the first time. He was trying to tell his dad no to bringing Ben to his mom’s families house in PA. I didn’t want Ben out that young so far. His parents felt mad i was saying no and tom had to stand by my side, my choice and he was vomiting and crying over this. Makes me sad to know how bad he had felt at such an older age yet his boys are not even in the teens yet and get this way, you would think he would want better. He would want his kids to be able to talk to him without feeling this way. People tend to want better for their kids then they had. See the faults in their parents and as a parent try to be different, act the way you wish your own parents did. With my ex it feels like he is just turning into them. Exp. when it comes to scouts. The boys have been saying many many times they do not want to continue their scout journey. My ex just sees it as HE DID it, his dad forced him to continue and it needs to be done for them. Don’t get me wrong. i have no issue with scouts or the community of it all. Its a great thing for kids, but for kids who want to do it. I don’t feel a child should be forced into anything. They are kids yes and as parents we need to steer them in the right direction, don’t quit what you started and what not, but if they finish the year its one thing, but to continue re admitting them is not fair. I am all about no candy for dinner and crap like that, but having them making a choice of not doing an activity. I am pretty sure that is OK. My ex and I will never see eye to eye, or get along as much as i wish we could just move past all the pain and heartache and anger, it will never happen. Too much has happened. I have said it before I may want the kids all the time and what not, and miss them when they are with him but at least he wants to have that time. Their are fathers who want nothing to do with the kids. So as much as he angers me, he is a father who wants to be there for his sons.

Tomorrow my poop is visiting the new store with the kids. I miss her and them kiddies. I am excited to see them. Show them around the new higher class Five Below ha ha. That’s about it i think…I will try to come back a little more regularly. Drop me a comment about your life..health…ex or baby daddy/mama drama, work, whatever keep it SiMpLe.

My loving fiance logged me on to his desktop, so now i can just use this instead of my small annoying Bluetooth keyboard that decided to freak out on me earlier.

I wanted to go into my weekend more. We went to see my family in Delaware and it was pleasant. We all went out to dinner and before we left Jose and I were talking in car about how comfortable we all are together, i said that is just family. It def. is a nice feeling. No drama. Honesty. laughter. What i aim for in my family and in friendship. I even got to see MAMA D…aka my brother in laws mom. She is so sweet. Love HER.

At the shower we got to see some people we know, one of them was Mrs. Duff, and she noted how i am Jessie and Dana’s sister so i need to be in the picture, that made me smile that others can see how close we all are together.

The night before the shower was the nightmare. I was in a ton of pain from not using the bathroom.I ended up waking poor Jose up around 1230 in the morning and he brought me to an urgent care. They didn’t do much and i said i felt better because it was nearly 430 and i felt bad being out so long. But to be honest i felt like crap..no pun intended. It didn’t start feeling better till today when i lost like 8 lbs of weight from just using the bathroom. Leave it to my man to say “babe you were full of shit”! Yup.. i sure was.

I also wanna just say how much i miss my friend at my old job. She and i had one anthers back so much and now i feel like i abandoned her with people she is so depressed working with. I hope she knows how much i would never have just left but in the end it really was a good career move fro me and my family and i know deep down she understands but still breaks my heart hearing how sad she is. Love you POOP!

Off to go spend time with my man and kids. Drop a comment about your weekend, did you have a ER war story? close friend who are family? LMK!

Keep it SiMpLe

Watching Teen Mom and It makes me so sad to see this little girl I watched grow up on TV have her dad basically disown her and rather have drugs over his daughter. Sad thing is it happens for real. Not just a tv show. I don’t get along with my kids father and I don’t know if we ever will see eye to eye but one thing I can never say is he doesn’t love his kids. He wants to be part of their lives and although Hunter informed me today he thinks his step mom is a bitch lol she too loves them. Even if I don’t like her very much as a person she does love the boys.
Work has been so busy but going well. The new store is taking off but I think we need some extra workers too. Its been tough getting people to work.
I had a busy weekend. As I said earlier in the week we went to Delaware. My sister Dana is having a baby boy. She is so pregnant and adorable. We had a great time but I unfortunately ended up in the ER for not using the bathroom it was a nightmare. Not only did my belly hurt, but we were there until 4:30 in the morning. But to end this on a good note I am able to use the bathroom thank you Prune Juice ha-ha. I want to write more but I had to erase half of this entry many times due to the keyboard malfunctioning. Maybe my wonderful tech of a fiancé can look at it later.

Keep itisimple..( see that’s what its doing) Byes!

Watching a very corny reality show, guilty. I love them and can only watch when Jose is in bed or not home lol. Anyway its called Yummy Mummies. Its about these Australian rich spoiled moms and I like it ha-ha. Well in it 3 of the 4 moms are all best friends and they said how cool it was to all have a baby at the same time. How it was exciting to have their kids grow up together and experiencing pregnancy together and I got a ping of jealousy and sadness. I was pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20. Then just 2 years later my youngest. During my first pregnancy I did have a small group of friends I was very close too. We hung out all the time, and even after my son was born we would always hang out, and had a standing night of poker and our TV show we loved. Slowly it started to become harder. When they wanted to go out I had to either take my son, or not go. Sometimes they would go out without me, I cant hold them back. I was a mom. Eventually we drifted apart. I have certain friends of course who are and always have been there for me and my boys since day 1. Some I met after and some since I can remember. It was hard being a young mom. Now, my kids are older and heading to teen years and pre teen and those friends are now just getting married, hell even divorced already. Some have kids some don’t. I wonder if they ever look at being a parent or wife and think about me. Think about how hard it might have been for me. I remember one specific night, it still haunts me. Ben was up ALL night. My friends had slept over, my kids father was away at school so they were nice enough to keep me company. Ben was up and crying and crying. It was so bad I had to walk out of the room and let him cry. Both friends took a turn trying to help me and they came back saying idk how you do it! They were overcome with fear. I am haunted by this because at that moment I saw why some moms loose their shit. I wanted to throw my head into a wall. I remember yelling at Ben. Screaming at this poor innocent child. I feel awful to this day. He has no recollection of this night, and never will but I remember it and it breaks my heart. When it rains sometimes that night hits me. At the end of that night I could feel the tiredness and my mind like going insane rocking back and forth in the rocking chair staring out the window. At the early morning, the rain and a very tired mommy. Worst memory ever. I wonder if my friends remember that night. Unfortunately this was one of the nights I think they really saw we were in different places. Even during some unfortunate words we had, they threw this night in my face how they could not even sleep. I know it was a long time ago but this still gets to me. Thinking you choose to stay over knowing I was a mom. I am still friendly on Facebook with the girls but I wish sometimes we could be closer again. I suppose things happen for a reason though and I will always wish them the best.

I realized tonight I have not updated about Ben yet. I made a whole post about his HW issues and grades and I never told you guys how GREAT he is doing. As and 1 B. NO MISSING work, I knew he could do it. I am so proud of him. I hope he keeps it up for the report card. He is a good kid. I def. appreciate how close we are and how much alike we are. He even started his own journal like me. He told me about it, let me read it and in it he opened up about a girl he likes. EEK lol. I am very proud of my baby boy.
So I pampered myself today. Hair and a tan. Getting ready for my weekend away. I am excited to see my friend/family. Dinner tomorrow night then a shower on Sunday. I think I will attempt a diaper cake for my sister. I cant wait to see them all. They are a big part of my life and always will be. Speaking of that Jose and I are wedding planning and I cant wait. I have to get his list of groomsman. Besides the best man and our boys. I want to make sure I have same amount of brides maids. When he first asked me I had friends I wanted to be in the wedding, exp. because how close I was with them no matter how long its been since we hung out but now that I am really planning I feel bad because I want to not have certain people in it. Not because of any fights or not being close but because I want to make sure its something I want to do, not just do because we are friends. If that was the case it would be half the guests. I do know its most def. going to be Jessie as my maid of honor, and Dana as a bridesmaids. My sisters, Not my blood sisters, but my close ones. Ones who are and have always been there for me. I have blood sister and a step sister but I am not close to them at all. I am always getting let down by them and its my big day so I wont be having them in it just because were related. Some may disagree but its my choice. I know for sure Kerry is in it, and Lauren and Nemo. I originally wanted both my cousins I am close with but they both are new mommies and out of state so them just coming is good enough for us, and I am sure for them too.
OK well it is nearly 2am. I am AWAKE but need to try and go to sleep. Before I head off just drop me a comment about being a mom or dad. Were you young like I was? How about your wedding, was it big? How did you pick you wedding party? Was It SimPlE?

Woke up today still having those pains, only now its in my back. NOT a fun time. Besides this I am very heated and mad at my recent house guest. I had written how I feel that just because she is my mother she feels she is needing to be catered to. This morning my mom decided to make breakfast. She made waffle mix ( used my last box)uses the waffle iron, eats, puts her waffle with syrup BACK on the iron to cook longer { can’t make this up } When she is all done, leaves. DOESN’T CLEAN any of the mess. Not the mixing bowl, not the sticky iron, NOTHING. AND when she rinsed her plate, its not just syrup its chunks of waffles in my sink. Seriously people how old do you need to be to know this is just rude no matter where you are. I at this point am livid. I text her how I found what she did rude. She responds how I was in the wrong and next time she wont be staying here because she doesn’t feel like she can, how I am rude for not offering breakfast…but lets go back to when we discussed her coming every other week. She said she will help with food when here, cook sometimes, spend time. Now the 3x she has been here, I cooked or Jose bought dinner, she used and did not replace our food, drank my wine, used my hairbrush, my shampoo and conditioner and so on. Not only that she expected me to make dinner for her. This is just ignorant behavior. I am all for having house guests. Being a host what not, but when you are here multiple weeks and not ONCE help. Or even offer help, then yes I am going to be frustrated. I will say she did cook once. So sorry ill give her that one. I just want to know am I wrong for being so annoyed? Is this a normal reaction?

I am a little bummed too because Jose sold my other parents house today and they are officially moving out of NJ. I will miss them being so close. The Fenlons are like my other parents. Brian, is walking me down the aisle for my wedding. He was around when my dad was here, and always was a nice man to me and my family. His wife says I imprinted on him. I remember him and the memories of the beach and what not because when your little you don’t think your dad wont always be there, so I agree with this statement.

Jose took me and the boys to dinner tonight for Hunter’s school’s fundraiser. Was nice to not cook since I feel like shit. Speaking of school the boys are hoping for no school. Apparently we have a snow storm coming in. I think we will only get rain but maybe they can wear their pajamas inside out and backwards. Ha-ha.

So enlighten me with some stories of how your parents drive you crazy, make me feel normal! Also before I go I do want to give a shout out to one of my employees. She stepped up today and showed her character and as a manager of a new store its good to see who I can count on in the future. You GO GIRL!

Off to relax with my man..have nice night and keep it SiMpLe.