This post is kinda a prequel to my blog yesterday. I had mentioned secound chances and how I may give them too much…hell i even give like three and 5 chances but this time…its not the same as Jose pointed out to me. This time its just realizing my mistakes. Seeing that the things said to me hurt but it hurt becasue it was the truth. So here is the gist of things…
I was friends with this person..Nemo is her nickname for about a year or so. She was like my other half. We always hung out and she was always there for not only me but my boys. She loved them and me so much. Much like my other friendships it ended, mainly due to the shit i dealt with living with my boy’s father and his family. I was in a job i barely worked ( had babies used as my excuse ) I was on and off with the father who treated me not well. So our friendship just ended. It hurt but it happened and I ended up moving out of the house and into another relatives of his. They were amazing to me and my boys and i am still very close to her to this day. Well Nemo and i reconnected. She most likely was thrilled i was out of that house and away from my ex, only this time I was with another person ( lets just call him wheels ) Well It ended up ending again and because to her it was more drama, and this time that situation was very wrong and ended badly. I’ll leave it at that. So it ended again. That time i just acted like its no big deal, her loss, i have wheels and my boys and well that was it. I was still in a no job roll but this time i was in school….so there is my other excuse. Lets jump to the most recent and main reason why i am writing…I am with Jose, about 3 years. Happy. Kids happy. NOT with anyone in my ex’s family home. I had a good job, ( seasonal) but good. I was growing….or thought so. I dropped out of OCC, and worked and leaned once again on my man. Well Nemo thought ok this is good, till the day i was let go from my job. In her mind she was DONE. She said some hurtful things. I cried….a lot. But now 2 years later I see why she said what she said. I see that it hurt so much because it was the truth. She cares about me and my boys and always wished nothing but the best. To her tho, it was same old Kelli, New place, New job, New man..BUT same shit. It wasn’t till recently maybe a year i can see what she meant. I am now in a job i love and can and will move up in. I have friends whom have been in my life for a long time, and some newer ones i met in this past year. I grew up. I am STILL with Jose. My boys are with me and healthy and happy. I even got 2 more boys to love out of it. We are in a house together. I no longer take food stamps and get help from state. I am becoming a woman i am proud to be. Does Jose help me, us? Yes, absoutly. But not in the way where its all i count on. I count on me. So in the end she was giving me the cold hard truth. I owe her an applogy and even a thank you. She was being a friend. I hope when we meet up it will be good and we can slowly get to know one another again. As woman.
Can anyone else relate? Have you been told the truth and it hurt but in the end saw you needed to hear it? This blog wasnt very simpe today but it felt good to say. I am proud of who i am and hope to do nothing but keep growing.
Keep it simple.
Simple. 